Monday, December 24, 2018

Secret Santicorn: Codpiece Crafting

So this holiday season I participated in the OSR Discord Server's Secret Santicorn Event. As per the lovely Rattlemayne's request I've taken to creating a nuanced codpiece crafting system, including enchantments. I'll be honest, codpiece crafting has never even entered into my consciousness as something to make but here I am and Merry Santicorn!

The codpiece began life as a piece of cloth that covered an underexposed area in men's Renaissance fashion, from there it was popular for 50 years in the 1500s as a thing to adorn and call attention to the crotch region. It was also a part of plate armor construction during the time period.
Portrait of Antonio Navagero (1565), oil on canvas, Pinacoteca di Brera, Milan, by Giovanni Battista Moroni
Moving into the realm of enchantable codpieces I present to you the following crafting system.

Materials

The first step of crafting a codpiece is the material construction. The higher quality the material the more powerful the possible enchantment
  • Gourd: Old school, easy to decorate, cumbersome, and secured by a rope sling. A gourd codpiece can be made by the poorest farmers and offers no bonuses to enchantment rolls.

  • Cloth: Dignified, available in many colors (mostly red), wicks away sweat and goes great with your favorite pair of hoses. A cloth codpiece requires a skilled hand to craft and provides a +2 bonus to enchantment rolls.

  • Metal: Protective, usually part of a set of armor, terrible in hot climates, you'd think the armor would protect you but it usually just draws attention down there. A metal codpiece provides a +5 bonus to enchantment rolls.

  • Giant Hide: Dangerous, can be made from any giant if you're industrious enough, it's usually worn to assert dominance. A giant hide codpiece provides a +7 bonus to enchantment rolls.

  • Devil Hide: Positively brimming with sin, you probably shouldn't have this on hand, always blood-red and stains other clothes you wash it with. A devil hide codpiece provides a +10 bonus to enchantment rolls.

Enchantments

The second step of crafting a codpiece is the various enchantments that can be placed on it. You can enchant a codpiece a number of times equal to your Shame (Charisma Score - Wisdom Score). Having a negative Shame value means you're less inclined to wear a codpiece overall while having a Shame value of zero means you can wear a codpiece but you find the idea of enchanting them to be ostentatious at best.  

Roll 1d10+Enchantment Bonus

1. The codpiece performs its necessary function and covers up a vulnerable area and refuses magical enchantments. You don't have to roll drawbacks.

2. The codpiece tightens 1 hour before it rains.

3. The codpiece changes color based on your mood.

4. The codpiece can be activated to pull you due north. This effect lasts for 1 hour, can be used once a day.

5. The codpiece causes all flowers within 10ft of the wearer to bloom

6. The codpiece can magically store an entire weapon within. You can conjure it and store it with an appropriate double entendre.

7. The codpiece emits light like a lantern might. You can turn it on and off with a simple tap.

8. The codpiece can point toward the nearest bar/tavern/establishment to buy alcohol at.

9. The codpiece stiffens, allowing your voice to be projected and audible up to 1000ft.

10. The codpiece can discreetly record 4 hours of audio. On the side are buttons similar to that of a recorder.

11. The codpiece can be used to turn invisible for 10 minutes. The effect functions as long as you keep one hand on the codpiece.

12. The codpiece contains a fully functioning grappling hook and 50ft of rope. It is mounted in a way that doesn't tear off your trousers upon use.

13. The codpiece contains a considerable amount of either caltrops or ball bearings (your choice). You can unleash them at a moments notice.

14. The codpiece contains wisdom from the future. Once a day you can ask the codpiece a question about the future. It will answer with a good, bad, or mixed omen (usually by rising or falling).

15. The codpiece has an attachment that functions as a heavy crossbow with 20 bolts. It can be reloaded by removing the codpiece (this takes about 10 minutes).

16. The codpiece increases your strength magically. While wearing the codpiece your Strength score increases by 4

17. The codpiece allows you to increase your size to that of a giant once a day. Your new giant form has equivalent giant strength and increases damage from melee attacks by 4d4.

18. The codpiece can extend and works like a prehensile limb. It has a reach of 10ft and can manipulate objects dexterously. It can manipulate and attack with light weapons.

19. The codpiece increases your intelligence magically. While wearing the codpiece your Intelligence score increases by 4

20. The codpiece grants infernal resistances. You become immune to fire, acid and cold damage. While wearing it you gain knowledge of the languages of hell.

Drawbacks

The third step of crafting a codpiece is to understand that wearing an enchanted object so close to your crotch might have some unintended side effects. The codpiece gain drawbacks equal to its number of enchantments. Bonuses to enchantment rolls also affect drawback rolls.

Roll 1d10+Enchantment Bonus

1. The codpiece is a little tight, nothing major though.

2. The codpiece makes loud clanging noises whenever you drink liquids.

3. The codpiece painfully retracts inward when you hear lightning.

4. The codpiece shouts obscenities whenever you cough or clear your throat.

5. The codpiece slowly dyes all your clothing and armor a dull brown color

6. The codpiece sings bawdy songs about the sea and whatever handsome lady or gent happens to be nearby (it's in your voice).

7. The codpiece occasionally will disappear completely, leaving you smooth down there for about 1d4 hours.

8. The codpiece is way too hot and chafes nonstop.

9. The codpiece forces the wearer to speak in rhyme. Not doing so deals 1d4 psychic damage.

10. The codpiece causes the hair on your head to grow down to your ankles, this hair can't be cut by mundane means and causes you to trip constantly.

11. The codpiece causes all wild beasts to instinctively hate you while you wear it.

12. The codpiece can't be removed except by a spell that would remove a curse

13. The codpiece collects static electricity as you move, zapping you for 1d6 damage for every 120ft of movement you take

14. The codpiece chills you to the bone, you are always cold and take double damage from cold-based attacks.

15. The codpiece traps your soul within it if you die. You cannot be resurrected.

16. The codpiece grows a tiny face on the material. The face can't stop talking (making stealth impossible for you) and bites anything nearby for 1d6 damage

17. The codpiece can't be worn with any other armor or clothing. All attempts to do so cause the armor and clothing to fly off.

18. The codpiece magically labels you the greatest duelist in all the land and the greatest cheater in all the land. Duelists will try to duel you on sight, gambling houses will deny you entry, and agents of the law know you by name and would benefit from your capture

19. The codpiece summons a powerful devil when worn. This devil will not act against you directly but will take every opportunity to spread lies about you and make your life miserable

20. The codpiece is very sticky and cannot be removed. Anything that touches it becomes adhered to its surface. When completely cover with objects/creatures the stickiness wears off and becomes a potent acid that deals 4d10 damage to all objects/creatures attached to the codpiece


The Bogeyman's cave did my prompt for locales in Ke'Sik here.

2 comments:

  1. Posts like this are why RPGs are beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Codpieces are absolutely going to make a fashion come back in my games now.

    ReplyDelete